New Year. New Me. Yeah.

Well it looks like the job I've known and loved is going straight into the loo. A big reorg will be happening up next month, and who knows what the corporate origamists will come up with. Today was a day when I couldn't handle the uncertainty, and I wasn't up for dealing with more meetings, more politics, and more petty weirdness, so I stayed home. Don't get me wrong: I still love the people I work with, and the people who report to me especially. That's precisely why I was feeling so awful: I have no idea whether after next month I'll be working with them anymore, and it's just wrenching. Today I came up against the wall of it, and I couldn't think of anybody at work without crying, so home I stayed. I trolled the job boards for a while and sniffled and felt sorry for myself. I did some chocolate work and felt a little better, but the minute I stopped I started feeling sorry for myself again, so I went out for a little walk, then came back determined to hit the gym. But then my lovely husband came home to pet my head and he enabled my wallowing by putting on "The Plan," which was good, and opening a bottle of cava, which was better. Then we watched "Julie and Julia." Now the achiness is settling back in around my heart, but at least I don't feel like bursting into tears.