Call me a crone and I'll bust you one.

I've been dealing with the hormonal mutiny every woman has to face at some point in her 40s. Trouble is, I wasn't ready. Is any woman ready? Anyway, it started with the previously mentioned never-ending visit from Aunt Flo. Apparently this was caused because I didn't ovulate last month. Hello, perimenopause. Boy, is it not nice to meet you. Anyway, apparently when you don't ovulate your hormones just go into complete confusion and they go running around your endocrine system with their little heads on fire and their little hands waving in panic. So, I couldn't stop bleeding, and to boot I was fighting an extremely low iron level (still am). As fast as I was shoveling iron in, I was losing it. So, I went to see my doc. She prescribed progesterone and lots of it. My panic-ridden hormones said "we SPIT on progesterone!" and they kept up the chaos and I kept bleeding. 30 days went by. Finally, my doc got out the big guns and put me on birth control pills. (The fact that I'm back on birth control 2 pregnancy-free years after going off it, is fodder for a whole different post.) I'm not just on birth control: I'm on 3 pills per day for the next three days, and then 2 pills per day for the following 3 days, and then down to the normal 1 per day probably until I'm 52. It's just depressing. But on a high note: this ought to halt the hormonal chaos and I can stop single-handedly supporting the feminine-products industry. Which will give me time to start contemplating the idea of menopause. Goddamn I'm not ready for that.