mom@heaven.com

It's probably because my mother cared for me after my last foot surgery that I've been missing her sharply these past two weeks. My husband has cared for me magnificently, and I haven't compared their caring styles at all. But I just miss my mom. I have reflexive thoughts of picking up the phone to call her. When in the middle of a pain-med dose, I've idly wondered what her email address is. My mind keeps grasping for ways to communicate with her, and then abruptly ending up against the doorless wall of her death. So then I start longing for earthly reminders of her: I crave "mom eggs" in the morning (that's soft-boiled eggs on buttered toast); I'd trade a kidney for one of her meatloaf sandwiches. But I know from nearly two years without my mom that making those favorite meals may take care of my hunger, but it won't ease the longing to have her here. There's no medicine for that particular kind of pain.