Struggling to sleep

I've been struggling with severe insomnia. Lack of sleep makes doing just the normal minimum each day a challenge. It also tends to change a person's personality. I've been a bit short-tempered, sometimes weepy, often frustrated by the mental fog that steals in during afternoons after near-sleepless nights, slowing down my thought processes and response times. An admission that I'm dealing with insomnia brings out the advisor in everyone. "Are you stressed out over something?" No (seriously, no). "Is it that your mind won't turn off?" No, I'm not obsessing over anything at work nor at home. "Try drinking warm milk!" I have. It tastes good. It does not help me sleep. "I took melatonin and I haven't had a problem since." I'm so happy for you. Wish it had the same effect on me. "Benadryl. Take Benadryl." Oh yes, my pal Bennie. It does knock me out. But then I spend the rest of the night in agony as my brain tries to fight its way back awake through the drug haze. It's worse than being fully awake. And I'm not keen to take strong sleep meds, because this can result in dependency issues.

Once in a while I get so exhausted that I do sleep eight full hours. And then the cycle begins again: stay awake until 1 or 2:30 a.m., then go to bed because I ought to, lie awake (sometimes with the added fun of restless leg syndrome. Woo!), get up after half an hour because that's what the sleep hygiene folks say you should do, wait until I'm even more exhausted, and try again. Sleep for 3-4 hours (if I'm lucky, 5). Then get up in time to drink some coffee and get to work. Last week my employer launched a new Healthy Lifestyle Program component that's supposed to help people overcome insomnia. So I signed up. I read the first chapter of the material, and I'm filling out a 1-week sleep diary. After that I can continue with the rest of the program. Wish me luck.